Deep and Meaningless

Yesterday afternoon, It was raining the whole day and i've been massaging my leg in rainwater at my flooded workplace for the whole day too zzz. Reached home at 11plus and I took out my shoe and found out my two foot is almost rotted for soaking in those rainwater! CB! Fucking hell pain okayyy! Went to bed at 12am trying to orh orh but too much things was on my mind and i start getting emo. Cant fell asleep at all. Lie at my bed till 4am and i gave up sleeping. As usual, another sleepless night emo-ing. Somehow i felt, Days grow longer and nights grow shorter nowadays == I guess i must be getting crazy for emo-ing too much. All these emotions seem to be crushing me under their weight.

Am i deceiving myself now and all these while?
pretending not to care about you and telling myself that i don't love you.
I'm sorry i wasn't able to see certain things.
Sorry that i have been whining so much and stressing you all these times,
for trying to get the definite answer that i wanted and you did, gave it to me.
But why does it hurt so much more than alot of things ever did. Am i too naive? I guess i let you get the best of me. i bet u don't give a fuck either.

But i'm thankful to you for the time we had together nevertheless it was just a short while. Somehow i guess, I learnt how to love better.

Can someone give me a big tight slap to wake me up from this mess? I cant bear to slap myself as i'm too cute=x
Sighh, 2more hours and i have to prepare for work.Hope i wont faint during halfway^^.
Oh my god, i felt like so girl girl posting such things but i cant help it cause i emo-ing :x must understand.

I'm starting to see
Maybe we're not meant to be