I have a problem.

And it makes me feel like I'm dying. It's taking a toll on everything I have.

When you want to get better and everything is just getting worse and you just go with it. This isn't helping. This isn't helping me get up. This isn't making me better.

I find no pleasure in this anymore. I find no happiness in it now.

I just want all of this to stop. It's hurting me. It's draining me. I can't look at things the same way again.

Here I am. Breaking down, falling apart. They say God doesn't expect me to be perfect. But I believe He expected that much from me which I still haven't done.

I am losing this fight. Maybe I should've ended this long ago. But I haven't been strong enough. I wasn't strong enough for anything. And still I'm not.

There goes my faith.